the one

Non-duality is one of the hardest things to write about, but it is also one of my favorites. It is hard to describe without getting twisted around or confused about the picture I want to paint. The difficult part of distilling our experiences of non-duality into words is that we do it without any of the other dimensions of senses such as what we see, feel, hear, etc. that we experience when it washes over us. Consider a time when you saw this world through the lens of oneness. What was that like for you? Our world is constantly defined by individualization and separation. For instance, think about the quintessential journey of “finding ourselves” that characterizes being human. We put so much emphasis on our own self identity that experiences of non-duality are far and few between. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort and surrender to even get a glimpse of it if you aren’t used to being in that state. Those who spend more time in this realm of oneness have a stronger relationship to it, but it is available to everyone equally. The extraordinary thing about these moments is that we all have our own, personal relationship to non-duality. Thus, we all have our own unique experiences of non-duality. Where it gets really interesting is that our understandings of non-duality are specific to us but simultaneously all of them are the same at the core. There are generalizations that we can understand but don’t feel like a perfect fit because they aren’t tailored to us. It is like how we can all try a slice of cheesecake, but our third dimensional senses aren’t all the same so not everyone will have the same understanding of cheesecake. If we all described cheesecake to someone who has never tried it, they would get the gist of what we were saying and understand our individual interpretations when they eventually try it for themselves. However, our own analyses won’t capture how they personally experience it when they try cheesecake for the first time.

My first ever “download” (strong knowing that came out of nowhere) was about non-duality and an experience of non-duality. I was abroad, very homesick, and in the last couple weeks of my trip. I was panicking about something fairly stupid… it was a boy actually. Okay so it wasn’t that trivial at the time because I am someone who really values strong friendships. My personality isn’t suited for a bunch of friends I have known for a short period of time. I am far too introverted. Most of my friends I have known for at least nine years and I have some that I have only known for about four or five. (That’s a decent amount of time for how old I am). All of that aside, I promise I am not that dramatic of a person and there was a lot going on on top of this at the time. This friendship was very special to me and we were going through a rocky patch. I was very uncertain about how everything would go when I came back and was so anxious. It didn’t make it any better that I was literally on the other side of the world while we weren’t speaking. I was probably extra crazy because I wasn’t sleeping well. I was lying in my bunk with my seven other roommates, trying to drown out the noise and figure out how to calm myself down when suddenly this knowing came into my heart. I immediately felt so much better and didn’t worry about whatever was plaguing my mind again. Even though I was a ball of stress moments ago, I just knew everything was going to be okay. It was a combination of a knowing and feeling. It is a weird sensation to put into words, but it is like you just know something that you didn’t one millisecond ago and you suddenly feel filled with peace. It was like whatever I was worrying about ceased to exist. Luckily for me, the knowing did have a third dimensional form of the words, “we are all working together on the same team”. Sound pretty simple right? There are millions of sayings about teamwork, being one unit, etc. out there, but I could feel the power, the immense Love*, and multidimensionality behind the words. They felt alive and magnetic, as if they had their own spirit. The energy behind the words is the experience of non-duality. It was as if I was a container of infinite amounts of Love and those were the magic words to unlock the vessel. Love poured into me unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Now anytime that I want to experience this, I just say the magic words.

What I needed to know at the time was that no matter what appears to be happening within the material plane we know as the universe, our souls are all working together from a place of Love. No matter what seems to be separate, difficult or anxiety inducing, it is all coming from Love. We all have something to teach one another, we all have something to learn from one another. We are all mirrors for one another that reveal our capabilities for Love. We are all one universal family, a cosmic community. When we connect to our true identities as Love, we connect to the Love within everyone and everything. We all have different expressions of Love to bring to the table. I could truly describe this knowing for hours, but all of these phrases mean the same thing. I have never forgotten its medicine because it is with me every day in the shape that it needs to take to guide me. The spirit of the medicine is always changing form, but the energy and Love remains the same. Usually the theme of the third dimensional words has to do with something along the lines of Love and community, but it doesn’t have to be to achieve the same feeling. It just depends on whatever is right in the moment. Think of all of the ways that we are one unit instead of how we are different. We spend so much time defining ourselves. What if every time you thought about how you were different from someone else you thought about how you were connected? How do you experience connection? There are infinite ways to answer. Don’t get lost or overwhelmed by how other people may describe it. What feels natural to you? I have heard plenty of people describe their trippy experiences of feeling the soul of the world in their bodies, seeing different otherworldly beings, experiencing weird sensations, feeling themselves move toward a column of blue light or seeing God. I know someone who sees the connection and Truth of the world through auras. I tried really hard once to do the thing where you stare at a white wall through two of your fingers… it didn’t work. My eyes were just strained. I was seeing double with no out-of-the-ordinary colors. That’s not how I was meant to experience connection. It can be any and all of those things because there is no wrong way to experience Love. It doesn’t have to be complex, it actually feels very simple.

This timeless, universal knowing is the inspiration for the name of this space. When I got back home, I didn’t understand what I felt and didn’t know how to talk about it with anyone else. It felt like a mix of connection, love, and serenity… but that didn’t do it justice. No matter what combination of words I came up with, they didn’t fully capture the feeling the way that I wanted them to. I did what many other people do when they are moving through something they can’t explain: I wandered into a crystal store. It was less of a wandering, I had to drive an hour and a half to get to the closest one. I was very skeptical of the way I heard of people interacting with crystals. I wasn’t sure if they actually had special powers, but I needed time to think anyway so I didn’t mind the drive. I had a couple from the previous summer when my friend wanted to drop by a crystal store after work. I got a couple out of curiosity but didn’t really touch them after. My favorite was the rose quartz, but I thought that was because my favorite color is pink. Thus, I didn’t pay attention to the attraction I felt. Rose quartz is for when you want to welcome in love and compassion into your life. I was also told it was an essential crystal to have so I kept it in my back pocket. When I was in this store, the next summer, I found three that I really liked. One of them really stood out to me. It was the most stunning crystal I had ever seen and I knew I had to have it. It gave me the same feeling of magnetism and Love I had when I received the download weeks before. The crystal was cactus a.k.a spirit or fairy quartz. Cactus quartz is for when you need cleansing, purifying, amplification, harmony, alignment, peace, freedom and universal love in your life. It is also for merging with your interpretation of Love as your Higher Self and cohesive relationships. I felt the same attraction to the crystal and its meaning like the magic words that graced my heart. I was still confused, but I kept it in the back of my mind. Weeks later when I had all of my crystals out, I noticed that a combination of two crystals I had perfectly captured what I experienced that day: rose and cactus quartz. Everything that I knew in my heart about our connection to Love and to one another through our our connection to Love seemed to be held within the two crystals. Back when I was traveling, I received a message about “teamwork” because that was all my mind could comprehend. If I heard what I was writing now back then, it wouldn’t make any sense. It is the same essence, but it needed to come through in a different form for me to connect to it. When our minds are at different stages of alignment with our hearts, the medicine comes through the language that is the most appropriate so you can receive it. I could talk about this download for days on end because it has been applicable everywhere in my life, as Love and unity usually is. Whenever I feel disconnection, I channel the feeling of the download by reminding myself that when we connect ourselves as Love we connect others as Love. In those moments of disconnection, I remind myself of what it is that I know instead of following the narrative of separation from my mind. It only takes a brief moment of connecting to however non-duality shows up for you for it to shift your entire perspective. I was able to put together the pieces of my puzzle because I followed my heart every step of the way. I followed my heart by listening to it while I was abroad, when I was in the crystal stores and again in my bedroom as I pieced it all together. Follow your heart and a new plane of existence opens up for you.

This knowing doesn’t belong to me. It is here to guide everyone that wants to connect, but it will likely not look the same for you. As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t come up with it. I don’t own the intellectual rights or anything. These simple expressions of Love are available to anyone who is open to them. Love comes through as a guide in infinite different forms, there really is no limit. It comes through in your personal language. Our languages, just like our relationships with Love, are multidimensional. If you are more visual, you may see how everyone is connected. If you tend to me more auditory, you may hear oneness. I don’t really know how that specifically works since I don’t really see anything quite like that but you understand. They can be combinations of different ways of perceiving Love e.g. mine is feeling and knowing. The Spirit of Love is independent of space and time because it is able to guide you, me, our loved ones and people we haven’t met yet all at the same time. It comes through in the form that we will welcome or the medicine that we need the most. It comes through in a shape we will understand. It is so personal and unique to us. Even within the way I know Love, the words have changed over time to fit where I am in my evolution, but the Spirit remains constant. Everything I have been talking about this far could be gibberish to you. Even if you don’t experience it the same way, if you have your own understanding I am sure you can appreciate what I am expressing.

I really believe we need to shift the way we connect to one another. There is so much disconnection that plagues us, which I believe explains a lot of the pain on this planet. Do you ever notice how we all have our own theories behind what is happening and why? They are all basically the same thing in different words when they are rooted in Love. I believe we are all designed to be able to bring a different expression of Love to the planet. My Love comes through the concept of connection, in its simplest form. How does yours come through? They are all welcome because they are all amplifying Love on the planet. That is all that matters. There are so many outdated things that keep happening that we really don’t need because are not allowing Love to come through. They don’t take much effort to change. Kindness is very simple. Remember the moment you may have needed someone to just be more kind and understanding. What if you offered that to someone else? You need to be kind to yourself first. There are so many things we say to ourselves that we wouldn’t dare say to our friends, children, parents, partners or even strangers! It is easy to see the way that someone treats themselves through the way they treat other people. The next time you are in a conversation, listen to the words that the person is saying, but also notice the invisible dimensions of the exchange. See if you can pick up on that person’s relationship with themselves, even if they are talking about what they ate for dinner last night. It doesn’t matter what they are talking about, their relationships with themselves and Love are reflected everywhere. It is important to do this so you can begin to see it everywhere and realize that your relationship with yourself as Love is also reflected everywhere. You spread the essence of that relationship everywhere. It is important for us to be conscious of this invisible, yet very real, footprint we leave behind. Treat yourself with kindness and watch how you will naturally do that for everyone else. Instead of thinking that we all need to compete and fight with one another over every little thing, what if it was your mission to look out for everyone as if they were your own family? For this to come naturally, you need to know how you connect to the Love within yourself so you can connect to the Love within “other people”. It needs to be yours. You will recognize it when it comes. Through your own relationship with Love you will know the Love within other people and the connection is known forever. We all have the capacity to unite with every living being and every spirit in all of existence. The connection has always been there, you just need to acknowledge it and bring it into your daily life. You don’t need any special tools or anything other than yourself and a willingness to commit. This is not some sort of inaccessible, abstract concept. It only seems abstract because when anyone else describes it, other than yourself, they are describing their own indescribable personal relationship. There are so many thoughts out there about how you can feel that you are simultaneously one and a part of Consciousness or how all duality seems to fade away within the Everythingness/Nothingness of Existence. No amount of words will ever do it justice. None of this helps you if it doesn’t come from you.

How do you find the way Love speaks to you? Quiet and stillness are great places to begin. I am not great with sitting still for hours on end so it didn’t come through in a meditation. The first time I connected to the download was in a time of disconnection. Disconnection feels very heavy in my heart so understanding how I could have connection anywhere or at any time was very powerful to me. The theme of disconnection/connection has been very present in my life. It doesn’t surprise me that this is the way I know Love and healing in my life. This is something that I really care about. I can even feel it as I write about it now. The way you know Love could have something to do with a core wound of yours. It isn’t because all evolution has to stem from great pain, you can evolve from a gentle place. Any core wound we have that follows us throughout life gives us an opportunity to show up for ourselves as our own healer. It is as if it is our own, specialized training opportunity in a unique area of healing that only we can do. We show up for ourselves constantly, giving ourselves the Love that we need in those moments, tending to the same wound with the same medicine. With all of this training, we are cultivating our own relationship to Love. Since it is so special to you, it is important that you embrace the training so you can show up with you whole heart and bring your specific medicine to the world. Love comes through to me as connection because I am very used to always healing the disconnection, in its many forms, within myself. Pay attention to the themes that seem to connect the dots of your life. It is reflected everywhere so you don’t need to look far. Those are your clues for how Love speaks to you. Where have you had the opportunity to show up for yourself to Love yourself? Begin there. You can also meditate for six hours, hike a mountain, or move to Nepal. Love is inside of you wherever you go so you can see it within yourself anywhere.

When you connect with your own Love story, be vulnerable and share it. It can inspire others to find the way that they have naturally shown Love to themselves. You can perceive the world from numerous lenses, including duality and non-duality. All of the lenses exist equally and simultaneously because they create one another. Does light exist without dark? Try imagining the world without any source of comparison. Duality doesn’t exist without non-duality and vice versa. Through our experiences of duality where we need to provide Love to ourselves, we learn how everything is an expression of Love i.e. the world is non-dualistic. It is dualistic and non-dualistic at the same time, depending on which lens you are looking through. Through our experiences of darkness, trauma, and resilience, we learn how to Love ourselves and that there was nothing but Love there in the first place. Our experiences of duality allow for our experiences of non-duality. Sometimes we just need a little push to access it. This is an experience that unites us all. Love is always creating within itself.

When you unite yourself with Love as Existence, you are able to be a vessel that gives and receives infinite amounts of Love within one moment. The connection is impossible to break. It may be possible to ignore if you want to. You can leave and come back, but once you feel the warmth of Love in your life, you won’t want to leave. Love has so many different unique languages that we can access that enrich our lives. You are always able to learn from the medicine you have to offer yourself as Love.

This is who you are. You are a loving, accepting, compassionate human being. I don’t believe that we are built to ignore, disconnect, and exclude one another. This blocks us from our natural intimacy with the world. It doesn’t have to be that way anymore.

Love creates within itself. The beginning and ending of all things is Love.

with love, katie

*Love/Higher Self/God/Source/Spirit/Creation/Consciousness/Unmanifested/The Eternal/Soul/Everything/Nothing/All That Is/Infinity/The Unknown/The Witness/Being/… you fill in the blank…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: