I was always confused about what it meant to “get grounded”. This concept always eluded me. It is likely because for the longest time, I had nothing to ground me. I had no way to ground myself or any idea of what that would look like for me. My life, mind, relationships… you fill in the blank… were always up in the air and I never felt like I had something to anchor me. I always thought that the route to being a grounded person had something to do with the Earth (I’m not terrible with plants, but I wouldn’t claim to have a green thumb) or being really connected to your family (not an option for me, my family is a mess). Surprise, it doesn’t have to be any of those things. I began paying attention to what would happen when I would describe myself as “ungrounded”. What do I feel like? How do I react to life around me? How do I seem to act out of character? Am I worried? Yes. Am I super anxious? Oh yeah. Depressed? For sure. Weird eating habits? Oi. Drinking? Maybe a bit. Sugar? Definitely a lot. Spinning out? You get it. How would I dig myself out of that hole? Love and Connection. Love and Connection has so many different forms. They have showed up for me in a multitude ways over time. When I was younger, it meant just taking a deep breath in those moments, connecting with myself to get out of my head for a moment, and remembering that everything is going to be okay. Those were the magic words: “everything will be okay”. That brought me back home from the rabbit hole I wandered down into. Now it is a little bit different. Connection to Love* as a force within me and you, however you want to describe it, grounds me.
The wonderful thing about connecting to Love is that it is an infinite force. It never runs out. It is all around you in every moment, person, exchange, interaction, feeling, emotion, plant, animal, etc. just waiting for you to connect in whatever way you know how. Anywhere you look, anywhere you are, there it is. You just need to know how you connect. Not how anyone else does. That couldn’t matter less. I call it Love and Connection here, but that could be anything to you. Imagine what that is. Pull it close to you. I am a huge nature person. This isn’t for everyone and certainly isn’t available to everyone in the same way. When I was at university, there were no forests nearby and that bothered me. I felt like I had no place to go to when I desperately needed it. Fortunately, I discovered that there was a huge botanical garden nearby. Those gardens quickly became my sanctuary. I know how hokey that may sound (it definitely does) but the way it made me feel is indescribable. The force of my special place is unparalleled. It felt like no matter what was happening at school (life was pretty hectic) that anything could be cured by the time I left. I spent all day there to ground in myself. By the time I left I felt renewed. What gives you that feeling? It doesn’t have to be just physical places. I learned the hard way that every time you feel unsettled you can’t rely on having a massive garden with a bajillion different species to escape in. This space of grounding and peace needs to be inside you so it is available wherever and whenever you need it. Love and Connection is independent of space and time. I will always love the gardens, but I don’t have to rely on them. I appreciate them even more now because of this. Once you know how you connect you can ground from there. Knowing this has given me so much security. As I mentioned earlier, my mind can be pretty unstable. I can easily get lost in thoughts and follow one for awhile until I remember to come back. This hasn’t been ideal in situations that need my undivided attention or ones that are emotionally demanding. I don’t worry about those potential circumstances anymore. No matter when or where I am I know I can always ground in Love and Connection. I am always bringing a plethora of Love to anywhere I am. No matter how far off I wander, I can always come back in a heartbeat.
There is so much power and vitality in this very simple way of existing. Now instead of worrying about how things may impact me, that at any moment I could feel ungrounded or disconnected, etc. I know that in every possible situation there is way back home. The world transforms into a space where you can learn from anything and everything instead of having to worry about defending yourself from becoming ungrounded. There is no need to keep that wall up. It is so much easier to be happy, vulnerable, and present. Love takes on infinite different forms within everyone. It is always shifting, transforming and creating within Itself. Think about how much you can learn from grounding in that Infinite Wisdom in every moment. What does Love as a grounding space have to offer you? Connect to that.
Being your own anchor is a gateway to endless amounts of compassion for yourself and others. You have the ability to bless yourself, anyone, and anything else with unconditional love in any moment. The only thing you need to do is show up for yourself. Show up for yourself and know yourself as this space of reliability and permanence. Know this part of yourself as yourself. You are the space of concreteness that allows the rest of you to shift and create.
Being grounded in yourself, in Love, is your greatest guide and ally. It can transform into exactly what you need within the space between your breath. Imagine how many different forms it could take for you. Now for someone else. Love is a force that is independent of space and time. It Witnesses and Sees so much within all of us and yet seems to stay the same. It remains our rock. Remember my messy family I mentioned earlier? I have had the interesting opportunity to spend more time with my family now than I ever have in the past. I have a very difficult time with my parents. Who doesn’t? Due to recent events, I am spending an unexpected amount of time with my mother. My mom doesn’t do well with being inside all day so we have plenty of opportunities to bump heads. The only way I have been able to navigate the upsets (it has only been about a week) with compassion is by staying grounded in Love and understanding. It has prevented me from feeling weighted down, cold, numb or like I have to hold everything in. This simple act is easy to overlook. It is only when amongst the tremendous amount yelling, hot tears, and confusing frustration, you are able to find stillness, quiet and peace that you understand its silent, yet strong power.
The way I write may seem pretty simple but that is because I distill all of my thoughts to their core essence before I write them down. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t understand me. Sometimes I am even a little unsure of what happens up there. I enjoy experiencing all of the wild thoughts whirling around in my head because they have allowed me to be very innovative in my relationships. All of the innovation comes from Love. I can’t tell you with any accuracy how I can go from being really upset with my mother to understanding and feeling her all within a split second. The only way to describe it is by being committed to grounding in Compassion and Understanding. That looks very different for everyone. Some may know this as presence within Love. Some may know this as taking a deep breath. I only invite you to find your own way of knowing this within yourself. Be creative with it. We all have the same capabilities even if they manifest differently. What feels natural to you? What goes on in your head when you begin to ground? What moves through your heart?
Knowing that we all have this capacity for deep Love and Understanding expands our connection to those we don’t even know yet. Remember, it is infinitely and uniquely complex for every single one of us depending on how we perceive Love and spread it. Imagine yourself in moments when you connect to someone you didn’t even know you could and how they could do the same for you and everyone else. Allow that to expand the amount of Love you thought existed in this universe. Ground yourself in this.
Now imagine how this Love expands beyond what you know. Imagine how it expands into what you don’t know. Now Beyond. Where could it possibly exist? How could it exist? I think it is healthy to be skeptical when people start talking about connection to ancestors, past lives, spirit guides, animal totems, plant allies, etc. Not all of that has to be for you. If you followed me up until this point and now you are like, “nope, not for me”, no problem. Consider this: Love exists in the places you can and cannot perceive a.k.a everywhere. My grandmother passed away within the last year. Do I think she floats around in the form of a ghost? I can’t be sure but I don’t perceive Love with sight. So she absolutely could but that doesn’t come naturally to me. Not yet anyway. The possibilities are endless. I perceive Love through feeling. Do I feel the Love she gave me, my sister and my mother? Everyday. Do you feel it? Maybe, maybe not. Does that mean it doesn’t exist? It is real for me. It can be real for me and untrue to you at the same time. Love allows for all of this. Ground yourself in this.
All that you can do is connect to what you believe, know, feel, hear, see, sense, within yourself. We all have different ways of perceiving Love in our own lives. As I mentioned, I don’t necessarily see anything but that doesn’t mean that someone couldn’t possibly see my grandmother around just because I don’t. I feel her Love and that’s enough. Don’t be afraid to connect to whatever you know to be True for yourself. Truth takes on infinite forms. There is Love and space for them all. Ground yourself in this.
Protect your Truth, relationship with Love and your heart. Don’t let anyone decide that for you. No one ever has to agree with you for it to be yours. If you feel it, know it, hear it, smell it, taste it, see it, etc. within yourself, that is all you need to know. Your relationship with Love is very unique, personal and precious. Be confident in your relationship with Love as you perceive it. Ground yourself in this.
Allow that confidence to fuel new Love for things you didn’t even know you could connect to. Once I realized I feel and know Love, I can appreciate how others may see, hear, touch, taste, smell, (and anything else I didn’t mention) Love. You may not understand it yourself but you can still allow that deep appreciation to fill you and bond you with The Unknown within someone else. Ground yourself in this.
with love, katie
*Love/Higher Self/God/Source/Spirit/Creation/Consciousness/Unmanifested/The Eternal/Soul/Everything/Nothing/All That Is/Infinity/The Unknown/The Witness/… you fill in the blank…