I have always had a healthy skepticism when it comes to “healers”. I don’t believe that what people claim they can do is impossible. However, it just seems that nowadays anyone with a seemingly well-thought-out website and a popular instagram could be your “healer”. I had always been curious about one particular woman I had heard about from multiple sources. I didn’t give it much more thought because even after looking into her I didn’t really understand what she did and I didn’t want to shell out hundreds of dollars based on curiosity. I have also had readings done before and they were fun for what they were. None of them gave me that life-changing or life-affirming reaction that a lot of people seem to get.
Around this Christmas I remembered the same woman that had been recommended to me out of nowhere. I can’t quite describe it better than “a quiet nudge” to get a reading from her. I was still apprehensive, especially since I was unsure about investing in someone I didn’t know much about. Since it was Christmas I decided to make it a gift to myself and to be open minded about it, especially since I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a reason the idea seemed to always pop up in my mind. I scheduled it for early January online and was inexplicably nervous the morning of. As it turned out, since the holidays can be a mess for everyone, she mixed up my appointment! This really worked out well for me because I had been feeling really confused about a lot of things in my life and I had no idea what I even wanted to say to her. She has very gracious and refunded/rescheduled my appointment for mid January. The second time around, I felt more relaxed because I really had nothing to lose.
I fell in love within eleven minutes. I promised I’m not being weird. I don’t mean that I was in love with her (she is married with children). I was in love with the way she read me even though I may have spent all of two minutes talking. I didn’t have to tell her my birthday/birthplace, tell her about my childhood trauma or send her a blood sample in the mail. It was as if she had known me for years and even better than some of my friends I have known for over a decade. I told her it was spooky which she thought was funny because apparently she just does this all the time!
I was awestruck by the end of our session. She asked me if I had any questions and I said I wouldn’t even know what to ask her because she gave me so much information. I sat with what she said during the reading for days, wondering why it seemed like she preformed some magic trick. I don’t believe she even claims to be psychic but that is the closest I have ever been to believing that there are psychics in the world from my own experience (after all, anything is possible and just because you haven’t experienced it firsthand doesn’t mean it is impossible).
So what did she even do? Sure for the last fifteen minutes there were some singing bowls involved and she was singing in a language I didn’t understand. She also read my aura and since I cannot see auras the only way I could confirm or deny the information she presented was based off of whether it felt right to me. It wasn’t really the aura reading, singing bowls, or song that made the reading for me. It was the forty minutes of her speaking to me as if she was speaking through my heart. It sounds extraordinary because she is technically a stranger but all she did was reflect to me exactly what I knew about myself in the most beautiful way. She didn’t say anything that was way out of left-field that I didn’t already know about myself.
It has always been really difficult for me to be very honest with myself. Sometimes I can’t even explain why this is, other than at times it can feel easier to be a different version of myself. This woman did not give me a choice. It wasn’t until after the reading that I questioned why I even needed to have the reading in the first place since she didn’t say anything that I didn’t already know. I needed the reading not to learn something new about myself but to be even just okay with the person I knew that I was. She laid out everything on the table for me and allowed me to see myself in a very clear and honest way that I hadn’t before. Do you remember when I said that when I first booked the reading I was nervous because I felt very confused so I wasn’t even sure about what I was going to say? I have felt as if I have been at a crossroads for awhile, unsure of where I am going next or what that even means to me. She revealed to me that I have never actually been confused. The “confusion” I speak of was me just avoiding who I am at the core.
By the way, even though she gave me the gift of the most amazing reading I have ever had, I wouldn’t say that she is magic. She is a serious medicine woman. She has been practicing for seventeen years and has integrated wisdom from several traditions to form her healing practice. It is definitely not one of those cases where she just built her website yesterday and started advertising medicine readings. The only reason I wouldn’t say she is “magic” is because I do believe there are many talented healers out there but a) you need to be open to whatever healing they are providing you and b) they need to be the right fit for you. These are not hard and fast rules. I myself have tried a couple of non-allopathic, non-western healing modalities with an open mind and they were not all for me. As I mentioned before, they were okay but this reading was spectacular. One of the reasons I have been raving about this in my mind for several days after is because she happens to have a background in shamanism. She doesn’t claim to be a shaman or even a shamanic practitioner. She has studied shamanism and woven that into her practice. Shamanism has immensely shifted my life (no, I am not a shaman/shamanic practitioner either; quite frankly, for me to say that would be problematic and disrespectful of the tradition). It is not a coincidence that I felt something very different during this particular reading. She was just speaking my language.
More than anything, she gave me the gift of honesty. Within the first eleven minutes, I knew the reading would be special even though I wasn’t sure exactly how. The past year or so has been really hard on me in ways I would need a book series the length of an encyclopedia to explain. I was absolutely the hardest on myself. It would have been much easier if I had been used to be honest with myself about who I am and what it is that I love in this world. It sounds oversimplified and that is because I don’t want to make it too complicated. She reflected back to exactly who I knew I was and provided me the space to fall in love with that person. She also showed me how to feel the most at home within myself. That was even more than anything I could have asked for and it all came from a quiet nudge.
with love, katie