For anyone who has ever been confused as to how to balance their spiritual/human experience, I have a feeling you will enjoy the following story.
Lee* had been with her boyfriend David* for a couple of years. Lee was someone you would consider a “spiritual” person. Sure she loved crystals, essential oils and an occasional yoga class or two. However, what is so much more magical about her is that she was a seeker and wanted to explore the unknown depths of her life and consciousness. By the way, anyone who wants to get to know themselves on a deeper level is a “spiritual” person. You don’t need to drink green juice on your way to kundalini yoga spiritual. I have experienced and thoroughly enjoyed both both, but that is not a prerequisite 😉 .
Lee surrounded herself with a mixture of what she would call “spiritual” and “grounded” friends. David was “very spiritual”. He believed in Source/Spirit/God and that everything you experience in life is not only layered with a deeper meaning/lesson but also you co-create this experience with The Universe. Thus, nothing happens to you. You create and call in everything that happens in your reality.
Whenever David would cheat on Lee, he would explain his actions from his “spiritual perspective” and say that anything that Lee experienced, including him cheating on her, was something that she called in and clearly needed to process.
It took Lee years to say no more. Why? Simply put: she believed him. Lee believed she created her reality and called David in to teach her something about herself. Boundaries, perhaps?
Was David “right” and genuine in his intentions? Or was he just “using” spirituality to be “sh*tty” to women? I don’t believe it really matters. What can be tough is figuring out how to tell the difference for yourself with regards to how you want to live your life and how to digest this earthly experience. Lee thought that since she was spiritual that it meant she couldn’t feel her feelings. She thought that since everything “served a higher purpose” and that she “created her own reality” that there was nothing to complain about. After all, if you create your reality then you can’t play the victim. Also, if you are Source then does any of this matter anyway?
Funnily enough, intentions aside, I think similarly to David. As of right now, I do believe we are powerful co-creators and that life is layered richly with deep meaning. In all of those layers are so many teachable moments because everyone in your life is a teacher. I believe you do call people in to highlight some aspect of yourself that needs some attention, integration, love and acceptance. However, if you are reading this you are likely in a human body. Whether you believe we are Source/spiritual beings, you are in a human body. I believe that if you are in a human body you are meant to have a human experience. If you were meant to have a spiritual experience then you may not have the treasure that is your body to explore this infinite world with.
I went through the same thing Lee did when I was learning about boundaries. Sure the physical experience was different because I don’t know David. However, I struggled for awhile thinking that I should be “happy” and “think positive” and spiritually bypass (a.k.a thinking that because you are a spiritual person you’re feelings aren’t valid and there is no need to process them) every deeply emotional moment because it had a lesson. It took me awhile to learn how to hold space for both. When I say awhile, I spent a year with my head up in the clouds pondering the existence of myself and my role in this life. If we are spiritual beings, does anything count? If this is all an illusion/maya, is anything “real”? If there was any inconvenient time to have these thoughts, it was junior year of university. Yes, I believe that we are Spirit experiencing our human bodies. That doesn’t mean you have to give up experiencing all of the wonderful intricacies of being human. It took me a long time to realize that we are here to be human. Sometimes it doesn’t need to be more complicated than that. We are here to experience (not necessarily identify with) being human. I learned this a lot through boundaries (there is a separate post about this here: https://roseandcactusquartz.com/2018/09/26/boundaries/) and that even though we may be spiritual beings, it doesn’t mean that this human experience isn’t real (post on real vs. true coming soon). David was Spirit as a big red flag in Lee’s face saying that she needed to define some boundaries. She did when she got the hell out.
You are meant to feel. You are meant to fall in and out of love. You are meant to be angry sometimes. You are allowed to be very very sad. You can think someone is being rude to you. You can for d*mn sure set your own boundaries. “Spiritual” doesn’t mean you have to be cool with anyone treating you than less what you are worth. It doesn’t mean you have to let anyone walk all over you for a “higher purpose”. David was an invitation for Lee to see her own worth and she did. That doesn’t mean Lee needed to accept his behavior if that was not what she wanted. Lee leaving him was also an invitation for David to see that not everyone defines their spiritual experience that way. There are so many ways to be “spiritual”. Reclaim, explore and redefine that for yourself. Don’t give that power away to anyone else and let them tell you how to be “spiritual”. I have been readjusting as I continue to find the perfect balance for me. For example, I am practicing letting my intuition/higher self/Source/Spirit guide me in my every day life and paying attention to what messages I receive. That doesn’t mean that when I am having a bad day I check out and say that since we aren’t really human so it doesn’t matter what I feel because that’s an “illusion”. We are here because we are meant to be here. So I fully engage with my emotions, hold space for them, grab some half baked by Ben & Jerry and watch Scandal.
Align and identify with whatever your truth is. Also know that there is space to find the balance between knowing who you are and still allowing yourself to be human without any expectations for what that might look like for you. We all have the ability to tune in with Source/intuition or our ego/mind at any time. There is no “better” way to live your life. Find the right fit for you and let others do the same.
Oh and as always, if you disagree with everything I just wrote, there is space for everyone’s beliefs. I honor and respect yours 🙂 .
with unconditional love and space, katie
*name has been changed