Overview: learning how to enter other people’s auric fields to create a deeper level of understanding in relationships and for yourself.
One of the most powerful lessons I have learned in my life is that everyone and everything serves as a mirror. There are so many theories on the law of attraction with regards to people and how that relates to the “mirror” concept so I am going to explain it in the way that it has best served me.
Every person placed into your life is a teacher of some sort. You can attract people who are the opposite to you or who are like you. I have heard both “like attracts like” and “opposites attract”. This has confused many people because what they may not notice is that both of these rules are working together at the same time. It all depends on what energies you are attracting or that you need to attract in order to learn a lesson to help your soul evolve.
I have an example that shows you can attract both kinds of people at the same time to learn the same lesson. I am an introvert and there was a time I had lower self worth. At the time I was attracting two very different kinds of people. I would attract people who also had low self worth AND people who were empowered, extroverts, fiery and confident. Both the people who had lower self worth and were more quiet as well as the ones who knew how to step into their power highlighted within me that I needed to step into my own power. You attract what you need to learn and see within yourself.
This next part can be explained in a couple of different ways depending on what you believe in. I personally believe that we are all the same being. We are all Source energy (Spirit, God, etc.) and there is no separation between us. With this line of thinking, I am you and you are me. Whenever I talk to one of my friends I am talking to myself. I have a very non dualistic view of the world. With this idea, whenever you are talking to someone else you are talking to yourself. Whatever you think of someone else has really nothing to do with the other person, but what you see in yourself. That is key in understanding for the rest of this post.
Now for the tool: this “mirror” concept allows us to understand ourselves and other people (because technically they are ourselves in this example) in far deeper ways than we could ever imagine. I am a firm believer that you can only know other people as well as you know yourself because you are those other people. Your friends, family, teachers, strangers on the street… they are all you or versions of you. You are existing on the planet with many different expressions of you. There is no separation. Thus whenever you are looking at them it is like looking in a mirror. This makes it easier to see into a person’s soul and know them on a more intimate level whenever you are in a conversation or even just around them. Let me explain how.
*** When I say the word ‘charge’ I mean that there are certain words that have a positive or negative connotation associated with them for certain people. The word ‘floor’ for many people has no charge as in it isn’t usually a word that brings up emotional experiences or feelings for a lot of people. Words like ‘Christmas’, ‘sexual assault’, ‘vacation’, ‘bully’ and gift’ can all have positive or negative charges depending on the emotion someone associates with them. All words are inherently neutral. ‘Christmas’ brings up wonderful memories for me but may mean nothing to other people. It is all about your perception.
- You are talking with another person. They say something to you and you notice it or it triggers you (I used this word to highlight that if someone says something in a conversation and you have a charge associated with it, happy or sad, positive or negative, that means that you have something associated with it. You noticed it for a reason.).
- Take a moment to acknowledge what they said, digest it and notice why what they said meant something to you. This works well if you have experience being introspective and you know yourself. For instance, awhile ago I was triggered if someone said something about sexual assault, because I have been sexually assaulted. There is a very clear reason as to why I associated a negative charge with that word.
- On your own time: look at why you were triggered by that word or why you have a charge associated with it and love it. When I say love, I mean accept, heal or whatever you need to do to not be in resistance to it anymore. Sometimes people refer to this as having a shadow. Whenever I discover some sort of shadow I acknowledge and honor it as a part of me. I am careful when I use the word ‘heal’ with regards to the shadow because for some that can imply that it needs to go away. These ‘shadows’ are another beautiful part of you. Everything that makes you you has it’s place. Loving and accepting every part of myself has been one of the most wonderful things I could ever do for myself.
- Now that you have recognized that whatever the person has said has some meaning to you, it is time to recognize that it had some meaning to them too. People don’t just say things for no reason. They say things they want to be heard and acknowledged whether they are asking for help or need some sort of external validation. For example, I was walking home with someone from school once and we were friends but I didn’t know her as well as I know some of my closer friends. In other words, we hadn’t been very vulnerable with one another. All of the sudden she starts telling me about her issues with her boyfriend. It really came out of nowhere. When we finished the walk I texted her immediately saying, ‘hey, I noticed what you said about your boyfriend, if you ever need someone to listen to you, I am here’. We weren’t very close so I wasn’t expecting a response or anything. She texted me an hour later. This is where having a certain level of awareness comes in. You need to pay attention to other people. They want to be heard and acknowledged. If I weren’t engaged in the conversation, I may have missed it. People are constantly giving you information through body language, energies, talking, facial expressions, etc. and it is up to you to notice (if you want to) and use that to learn something about them. Since the same trigger meant something to you and to them, you can use empathy and compassion to feel out their auric field (since you may have had a similar experience). This will allow you to understand them on a different level.
Let’s recap: in a conversation you hear something that triggers you, notice how it triggers you, love it and use that as insight into the other person (aka you) to know them on a deeper level. You are using what you know about yourself and paying attention to what the other person has expressed to learn more about them and even feel what they are feeling without you having to ask them any questions about their emotional state. This has always worked for me because as I stated above, we are always attracting people into our lives to reveal something about ourselves. It works both ways. We are all able to use what we see in other people as a way to get to know ourselves, because we are all one. It is a very simple tool and has allowed me to develop wonderful relationships.
Something we take for granted is the art of listening. This tool and way of living requires your full attention whenever you are in someone else’s presence. Many of us think we are great listeners but this kind of deep listening requires you to immerse yourself into the other person’s experience. Really listening is a daily practice.
If you would like to learn more about the tool or how to integrate this tool into your life as a daily practice, contact me on the “inquiries and love letters” page. I would be honored to work with you 🙂
with love, katie