the pretty competition

I am the first person to admit that I love reality TV and instagram. It is my guilty pleasure and we all have those. I was watching “Are You The One” on MTV (this is where my love affair with MTV started) and in order to make these reality shows popular they always pick beautiful men and women for their cast. When I was watching the show I noticed myself thinking about how beautiful these women are and as a woman it is easier to start comparing yourself to other women. I saw this one woman and I was like “wow, she is stunning, so gorgeous, maybe even more than me…”. Wait, stop, hold up a second. Whether the woman is actually prettier than me is really depends on who you ask, but why should I even be thinking that? Why does it even matter?

There are so many beautiful people out there on television, social media and why we even compare ourselves to people that have likely edited their photos is a great conversation but it has already been done so many times. I am not here for that. This got me thinking about how yes there is so much pressure to look a certain way but at the end of the day I can only be me. Especially since I am not naturally drawn to makeup or any type of plastic surgery (cool if you are, going under the knife scares the crap out of me) there is not a lot I can do to alter my appearance. But why would I want to? So I can look less like myself? Many people would answer yes. But why? Because everything seems to be a competition! The reasons behind this silent competition could be to win attention from a potential significant other (like women who fight other women over a man, another conversation), maybe we seem more lovable if we are pretty… there are so many reasons and not enough time to cover them all. But there is something within so many people where they just don’t want to be just themselves. What they may not know is that they don’t need to do anything to receive more love. If you are alive, breathing and reading this post, you are loved and you are Love.

AND comparing people is like comparing apples to oranges once you include all of the wonderful things they have to offer. I am far more than my outward appearance. You are far more than your outward appearance. We are all a unique gift that the universe or whatever higher power you may or may not believe in came to create. Whatever you believe in you are here and that matters. You are not an accident. You are a gift and have so many talents and wonderful things to offer the world. There is no reason to compete with one another because we are meant to be different. But if you don’t believe in that then it is also just really hard to keep score because we are all infinitely complex and so incredibly different. That is so beautiful! Think of all the people you have met and will meet. What if they were all the same? Not even trying to be cliche here but what if they were actually all the same? That is so boring.

We are like flowers. I mentioned this in another post but for a quick recap: we look at nature as if it is perfect but easily forget we are nature. We are perfect and unique. Have you ever seen two flowers that are exactly the same?! Yes there are flowers that look similar and the metaphor is not perfect but you understand what I am saying.

You are you. I am me and I am meant to be me. No one else. You come with so many gifts to help others evolve. You are not just your outer beauty. I have found that the most attractive people to me radiate that beauty from within. Those people that are confident, know their worth and step into their power. Since you are a wonderful combination of your gifts, inner and outer beauty and an infinite amount of other possibilities it is impossible to compare you to someone else. Don’t let anyone else ever compare you to someone else. Right now I am cool with just appreciating the beauty I see in other people and knowing it doesn’t make me any more or less beautiful, more or less worthy, or more or less lovable. It is as if when we see someone we automatically assign them a ranking with regard to we are more or less pretty than them or compare them to someone we have met. Why do we need to compare people? They can do their thing, just be themselves and I can just be myself. There is no ranking system because there is no real way to keep track of everyone’s gifts and somehow compare them to everyone in the world! We are judging and labeling people as well as putting them into boxes when we don’t even know them. We also let others judge us and place value into those judgments when we know they don’t even know us. I once heard somewhere that it is none of your business what others think of you. Know how perfect you are and don’t be a part of this “competition” that isn’t even real… so you can’t even win!

It is all about perception. I have lived in a world where I would constantly compare myself. Once I stopped doing that and just appreciated how beautiful and unique everyone is the world became that much more amazing to be in.

with love, katie

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